Monday, February 22, 2010
And life goes on . . .
Here we are folks, T - 5 1/2 weeks and counting. Of course, I am already deducting 2 weeks off that schedule because each of my babies has come 2 weeks early for one reason or the other. AND - this pregnancy has been so agonizing that I think I will castrate the Dr. if he doesn't take me then. I don't want to hurt the little bambino though, sooo, if I get to 38 weeks and it is not time, I will just dig deep and find the strength to make it . . . for one more week maybe!! :)
Since my last post, I have been on prednisone. An awful and wonderful drug wrapped all into one. Aside from the night sweats, bloating, irritability, and heart palpitations, I am thrilled to announce that it has kept my "rash" (more like alien imprint from another planet that is taking over my body) at bay. The only bad thing is that I cannot be on it for very long so I am already being weened off and - that means the rash is already coming back. At least I was able to keep it a bay for a couple of weeks.
I have also been kind of insecure about the weight gain/ bloating. Look guys, I know I am big, I am not blind. I can especially see that my face is bloated. Everyone that I ask (for an honest answer) says " Oh no, you look great . . . the same!" Which really, that is kind of an insult too. LOL! Well, my dear mother in law saw me for the first time in a few months today and she admitted that "YES" my face does "look puffy". So there!
It is at times like this that I really do look forward to getting my body back to myself. I cannot wait to hold my little one. I just seem to function so much better when my babies are on the outside of my body. As I have been in and out of the hospital, I get to see the little newborns in the nursery. The other day I almost started crying out of joy because I truly am so excited to have one more. I loveeee the baby stage. I really do.
In other news, today Sterling and I went to our first consultation with the child psychologist to get Myles set up for his evaluation. The verdict is still out but most of the preliminary reports/tests are coming back as Autism. Really. I mean, how could we have missed this. With Asher, it was so obvious when he was young. With Myles, it is a completely different story.
There were no tears this time (not yet at least). I pretty much welcome the diagnosis. I am ready to move on and start helping him and getting the help and guidance that I need. I was asking Sterling as we were leaving, why did Heavenly Father send these boys to us? Is there something that I am just not learning as a mother? Then I realized that perhaps he thought that we could actually handle these circumstances. Go figure. I am going to have to dig deep again - but then, what mother doesn't have to do that everyday with her children, no matter what her situation?!
I am worried a bit about the baby. If Asher and Myles' "differences" are as bad as it gets, then I can handle it. But now I think, what if this baby is severely autistic? I know that there is no point in worrying. I also realize that I would never change this baby (or any of my babies) for the world. I will take them no matter what. I guess that I can face any challenge that is put in front of me with the Lord's help. These past 8 months or so have been a testament to that. And I thought that there was an easy button . . .
Well, I will post more soon enough. Who knows, maybe baby pictures will be next!! Yippee!!