Tuesday, April 29, 2008

No Deal . . .

Okay, so one of the latest crazy things that I have done is to audition, with my sister, for the tv game show,Deal or No Deal. My, what an adventure that was. Anna called me on a Monday to tell me that they were coming to town, that I HAD to audition with her, and that we HAD to sleep on the street for the night. Of course, being the great loving sister that I am, I agreed.

So, that week, I quickly schemed up a sure gimmick to get us in the door. A Howie Doll.

Sweet, huh?!

Yes, for a small fee, I can make you your own official Howie doll. LOL!
So, we get there (an RC Willey parking lot) around 11 pm. There are already about 200 - 300 people there, in tents, sleeping bags, etc. My sister and I did not bring a tent though, minor oversight on our part.

The weather is FREEZING! It was DANG cold. We were also in the back of a parking lot where the UTA Trax system passed, about every thirty minutes, with the ding ding dinging of the crossing sign going up and down.

Apparently, RC Willey also forgot that they were going to be hosting several thousand people as they failed to turn off one of their security system alarms, which also graced us with an "alarming" noise about every 30 minutes.

And finally, there was the meat packing alarm across the street. No, there was no meat packing factory, just and alarm that sounded like a blow horn . . .also every thirty minutes. These separate noises were, of course, scattered so that we could have ongoing background noise throughout the night. It was like spending the night LOCKED is the JAWS of HELL!

Finally, at 5:30 in the morning, when I managed to doze off for a minute, the Deal or No Deal reps came out and made several announcements that we had to pack up our stuff so that they could move us inside. Hence the start of an all out brawl between a few hundred people. There were police, there was yelling, there was even a mosh pit . . .okay, not really but it could have been.

Anna and I managed to hold our ground and get inside without losing much of our place in line. At this point, we are sooo tired that we cannot even see straight, let alone answer the questionnaire that they pass out to everyone. Anna and I sit, looking stoned, for about an hour. Then, I decide to pull out the secret weapon, my Howie doll.

People LOVED Howie!! Okay, I mean, not to brag, but he did get a lot of attention from the crowd. As the line started to move, everyone that passed Howie had to touch him, caress him, and rub his little head. The man next to us in line hoisted Howie up on his shoulders and a group chant started . . . ok, not really. But people did like him.

It is finally our turn at the table. They divided us up into groups of ten, giving us each 20 seconds to "WOW" them with something unique. Here is what Anna looked like at that point.

She later confessed to me that she was about the quit. We are herded into our line, finally it is our turn. Anna and I are the only girls in our group. I stand quietly next to the interviewer, with the Howie doll on my hip. Anna goes before I do. She explains that she wants to sleep with Howie. (Umm, hello, we have been together for the last 8 HOURS . . . you could have run this plan by me!!) I do NOT think that this helped her cause. No one laughs, except for me, that is what sisters are for!

When Anna finishes, the interviewer says "okay, great, thanks every-" I cut her short saying "umm, I am auditioning too!" She turns slowly and looks me and then my doll up and down. "Okay" she says, starting her stop watch.

I quickly babble something about being an artist, crafter, etc. I try to to some ventriloquist act with Howie, not really but maybe that would have at least brought more attention to myself. It is all over. She turns her back to me and Anna and then quickly selects 3 guys from our group.

Anna and I shuffle out through the RC Willey store (where, incidentally, they were handing out AMAZING coupons for anyone who was tired, stupid, and crazy enough to go on a shopping spree after sleeping on the street all night!!! MAYBE we would have if they had remembered to turn their security alarm off!!! Gosh, people! LOL!)

Okay, we go outside, rejected, feeling like the biggest losers ever. Anna and I agree that there is nothing worse that waiting in the cold all night to have a stranger tell you that you are not good enough, that you will never amount to anything in life. Ha ha, okay. Our self-esteem isn't that low because we did consider getting back in line (which was now up to about 10,000 people) and trying again. Nawww.

I quietly console Howie and my sister. We are winners!! And, we have a doll to prove it.

It's okay Howie . . . next time . . .


Erica said...

I THINK A LITTLE PEE CAME OUT!! This is exactly what I needed today! A little comic relief! The Howie doll is a HIT!! I love your creativeness and I definatley think you should sell him on ebay!! You are such a crack up!! I think you should've like been a little more like your "Cheryl" character and been all up in their faces with your attitude and your guitar!! You would've been chosen fo'shure!! Next time, next time. When are you going to come and visit me??? I need you and Howie to come and brighten our lives!!! DEAL?????

Kasie @ ~The Art of Life~ said...

Oh my goodness!! They so should have picked you guys! I mean, who else has a "Howie doll?" At least you made some memories that you'll talk about for years to come. :)

utmommy said...

That's some Howie doll!

Lisa said...

That is so hilarious. What an exciting thing to do and way to bring Howie along. My sister-in-law auditioned too and of course didn't make it either. Hey, I'm taking a photoshop class. Maybe I'll learn how to do some fun/creative stuff like you. Hope all is well.

Lei said...

Zoe you are so funny - you couldn't even something as straight forward as auditioning for a game show without incorporating some sort of craft! You rock!!!

Anonymous said...

Ahhhh, Mommy couldn't be prouder of her two little girls. (Does Sterling know about Howie?)

mommysgirls said...

You're crazy! How fun!

Evey said...

LOL! That is awesome. Thanks for the laughs. Sometimes you have to get rejected and sleep on the street for others to have laughter. You did us all a great service:)